Statutory warning: Readers who are in love and have not seen the flip side of their relationships are advised not to read this article. 

Abhishek Pandey
 
Love is about sacrifice. Is it? I have seen in the Bollywood movies of the late 60s and 70s actors profess that love is all about giving and not gaining. Their dialogues are only appropriate for reel life and not practical in real life. 

I don’t believe that love is about sacrifice. I have not seen it around me—not in a crowded industrial city like Kanpur, nor in Delhi and nor in Bhubaneswar. I have not seen a single person who is in a relationship and does not expect anything from his/her partner.
I have seen them fighting over trivial issues such as the girl going out with boys make the boy jealous; the boy not giving time annoys the girl; the boy accede to the girls’ suggestions to speak to her parents in a particular manner irks the girl; and the girl wearing skimpy dresses and uploading pictures of herself in them on social networking sites makes the boy furious. There is a long list of complaints that both—the girls and the boys—have and find them enough to break the relationship. They love to play the blame game when they get bored with love.

Am I sounding like a frustrated jilted lover. May be. But I am sure there are many out there who will share my views. Boys who appreciated Pyaar Ka Punchnama and girls who broke up with Mr Wrong recently will agree with my point. I am not forcing my views on you guys but just trying to see things through my own spectacles.

Before writing this article, I asked a few persons who have been in a healthy relationship for couple of years. They accepted the charm of the relationship fades with the passage of time and does not remain always the same. Love for them vanishes in the process of exploring each other over a year or two.

Some are in a relationship because they have committed themselves and given their word and the whole world knows about it. There are people who want to break up with their partners but cannot do so because it will tarnish their image.

Others remain stuck for their vested interests. Some want emotional or financial security and some want the fulfillment of basic instincts. Live it as it comes to you or leave it. It is all a farce. Do one thing this Valentine’s Day. Observe people around you and try to find out why they remain hitched. You will find answers of your unanswered questions.

Many sayings about love have negative connotations such as Love is blind; people fall (not rise) in love; everything is fair in love and war. Here is a list of things you lose while trying to be in love and prove that you love someone special.

You lose your precious time (and many persons money too) trying to prove that your love worth attention. Your love is important till the time the person trusts it is important.

The relationship is a kind of a competition. In trying to win it, you lose a lot of things such as you stop giving time to yourself; you get hurt and do not get in return what you expect.

People act blind under the spell of love. They don’ want to see the reality. They realize it when their illusion gets over and find they are left with nothing. And there is only one panacea. It is that you should learn to live without expecting anything from life or for that matter from someone.

# # #

A stand-up comedian mocked the metamorphosis in the relationship between lovers. He joked: “In the olden times the song was hume tumse pyaar kitna ki hum nahi jaante, magar jee nahi sakte tumhare bina. This has changed in the present time to Hume tumse pyaar kitna, I don’t know. Whether it is more than Sheela or less than Julie.”

|

No. It’s not. The three-word expression I Love You is perhaps the most difficult one to express. People may be headstrong but go weak at the knees when it comes to proposing to someone special. For one and all, the expression of love requires perfect timing, ideal setting and right approach.

Valentine’s Day is considered an important day in the lives of people in love. They may or may not be in a relationship but the day holds significance in their lives. People in relationships want to make it large by planning an outing with their partners or by giving special gifts. Others want to make it memorable by expressing their love to someone special. You need not break a bank to make Valentine’s Day special for someone. It just requires a decent attitude and a right approach.

Many of us fall in love with a friend or a colleague or someone in our neighbourhood or someone we see at a bus stop or in a market. And sometimes it is difficult to break the ice with a person we know than with strangers for several odd reasons. Here are a few tips on how to begin a conversation with someone special.

The most important factor to start an interaction is the consent of the other person. You should not make him/her uncomfortable. And the level of comfort varies from person to person; some will not like you interacting with them in public places like college canteens, libraries or at bus stops. You should consider other factors too like wheter the person is alone and you are in a group or you are meeting in a deserted area at night.

If any of these factors apply, be aware that the other person may feel a little unsafe or unsure of your approach. If you are not sure about their comfort in the interaction do ask them, “is it ok if I talk to you.” Make it clear that you mean no harm and leave them alone if they do not wish to talk.

Treat the person with respect. One should not become over-friendly in the first meeting. He or she should avoid commenting right away on their looks and attire. One should refrain from using endearing terms. A hello and a smile will rarely offend anyone and can open up the door for further conversation.

Getting rejected is surely not your desire. But you should not curse, insult or hurt a person who turns you down. Often people do not want to meet or even talk to someone in public places. There could be many reasons. They may be preoccupied or may be in a hurry. They may be already in a relationship. They may not be interested in any kind of relationship before getting into marriage.

If the person talks comfortably, you should not become overfriendly. You should behave decently and give enough time for the relationship to grow. Rome was not built in a day. Everything takes its own time. If you know the person for quite some time you can propose to him/her in right setting but the rules mentioned above still apply.

Expressing your feelings over phone or online is a safer option rather than saying those three words personally. But this is an impersonal approach and shows lack of confidence in yourself and lack of seriousness in your proposal. It is the worst thing to convey your expression through someone in his/her group or in your circle of friends because many a time your ‘someone special’ may not want to share his or her relationship with anyone else except you.

This article has been published in Yuva Sambad dated February 11, 2012.

|

I received a Facebook update that reads: “In India, the Government is deciding the age of Army Chief. While in Pakistan, the Army chief is deciding the age of the Government.”

The update was amusing. Jack says, the Indian Army Chief is not behaving awkwardly; and for that matter not even the Pakistani Army Chief. They are behaving in a normal fashion. He snubs me when said that the Indian Army Chief has lowered the image of the sacrosanct institution of India. Jack told me off the record that the Army chief will get a hike of a few thousand rupees if he stays for one more year in the service and an extension of one year to the facilities he is using as the boss of the Indian Army. I believe it cannot be true and he must be kidding. The person of his stature can no go that low for a hike or extension of one year service.   

Jack further explains, everyone wants to remain young forever. Haven’t you ever heard that a 40-year-old lady or may be older fighting with an innocent sales man in his twenties who dared to call her aunty. “How dare you call me aunty?” “Do I look like an aunty?” The fight goes on and on but if the salesman has learnt marketing tricks from some professor from the top institutes like IIMs then he will immediately correct himself saying, “Sorry Didi. It was just a slip of tongue.”

However, it may be the case the women in front of her is as old as her mother.  But his correction and choose of words may help him in achieving his monthly target.

|

Micro-blogging is all about posting small digital contents—text, pictures, video and links—on  the Internet. In short, it is a combination of blogging and instant messaging. Micro-blogging websites allow users to share a message of 140 or less character, a video of 12 seconds or less duration, short links or individual images with online followers.

Twitter is the most famous micro-blogging website. It allows users to update their messages in 140 or less characters. The website is increasingly becoming popular because the list of celebrities joining the site is growing each day and everyone out there wants to know what these celebrities are doing. The site has been in news for many controversial tweets by famous personalities. A few tweets that grabbed headlines and caused a ripple effect include Shahsi Tharoor’s calling ‘Economy Class’ a ‘Cattle Class’, Lalit Modi’s tweet on Indian Premiere League (IPL) and many more.  The tweet that made the biggest news of the last year was from a man from Pakistan. Sohaib Athar (@ReallyVirtual) live-tweeted the raid in which terrorist Osama bin Laden was killed.

There are certain things we should know about micro-blogging. There are a few must-know terms related to micro-blogging. One of them is hash tag (#). Tweeter users (generally called tweeple) must have seen the hash tag often in tweets. Hash tags allow an online community to easily stream a particular subject. It is a community-driven practice of tagging an individual tweet by using a hash in front of the tag such as putting #Indiancricket in a tweet about Indian Cricket. It also makes the tweet easily searchable online. Another term is re-tweet, it is used when you update someone else’s tweet on your page. ‘@’ is the sign used for specifying that a message is for a particular individual.

People using Tweeter has developed a terminology. They use tweeple for people using twitter, twaffic is used for users’ traffic on the site, twalking is used for tweeting while walking and twitticism is used for witticism used in tweet updates. There are several other terms and many are being added by its users.

The micro-blogging phenomenon is not limited to sharing text updates.12seconds.com is a micro-blogging video website. 12 Seconds limit the length of uploads to just 12 seconds. Making a video that’s interesting but is only 12 seconds can be a bit of challenge. Currently, they only offer integration with Facebook and Twitter. Some other websites such as Pluckr, Tumblr, Posterous, Plerb and Sweeter are also known among online users for their distinctive features. There are many sites such as twitpic, pikchur, twitgoo and others which allow users to share their pictures on Twitter.

There are many sites which provide an application through which you can shorten a Universal Resource Locator (URL)—you want to share with online pals. Some sites such as bit.ly, tinyurl, ow.ly and goo.gl provide an online tool for shortening URLs. These sites are useful because many URLs exceed the character limit.

|

Cloud computing is about accessing or sharing applications, software installed on a virtual server. It facilitates data storage solution to small companies. They need not to buy bulky and expensive servers. They can subscribe to cloud computing services and access their data anytime of the day provided there is no technical problem at host’s end and no Internet connection problem at company’s end.

Cloud computing service is useful not only for small companies but also for other online users. There are hundreds of websites which allow you to save your pictures, videos and other important documents on the Web. These websites provide 1GB to 50 GB free storage. Many websites provide the service for free and a few sites charge for premium service.

Sky Drive of Microsoft delivers online file storage and sharing solution in a free and easy to use way. Other websites providing similar services are esnips.com, hordit.com, gdisk.com, mediamaster and mp3tune (for storing music collection), Flicker and Picasa (for storing pictures and videos) and many more. People can not only save their data but also access several other features i.e. sharing files with friends and public, downloading data of your interest and upload data for public usage.

There are websites which allow you to use useful applications without installing them on your personal computer or laptop. For example: you want to play around with your pictures and you don’t have any photo correction software installed on your computer. You can visit aviary.com, phixr.com, graphita.com and many more similar websites those not only have photo correction tools but also provide image hosting services.

Some popular websites like Google and Microsoft has already launched ‘cloud service platforms’. Microsoft had started the Office Web Apps on ‘Sky Drive’ for users in select countries. The platform gives users the ability to view and edit Word, PowerPoint, Excel and OneNote documents online via browsers.  Microsoft had launched such cloud functionality to get an edge in the battle against Google Apps and similar Web-based productivity suites. Using Google Doc users can create documents, spreadsheets and presentations online and can share and collaborate in real time with others.

However, there is a problem with professional usage of cloud computing in India where Internet connection is slow and not reliable. In cloud computing, users cannot access their data when their internet connection is down or there is any technical problem at host’s end. This is a major drawback of cloud computing; particularly for the companies those deal with customers on 24x7 basis and cannot afford non-availability of their data even for a few minutes.  Until Interne connection becomes faster and more reliable than what it is today; users can continue using cloud computing platform for personal purposes.

Note- After reading the article, I would like you to watch a funny video on 'Cloud Computing' (in Hindi) that spread like a viral on YouTube. In this video, an ex IT commissioner is trying to explain Cloud Computing on TV.

|

Why is doing homework with friends better? Piazaa explains it in many ways. First, when you are at sea then someone who is stable can be a lifesaver. Second, when professors or teachers ask, there any doubts, students remain silent. Piazza, the website, helps you to connect with studious friends and tech-savvy instructors. They can help you out in virtual classrooms where you can reach out to back benchers like the ever intelligent Ranchodas Chanchad (Aamir Khan) of the movie Three Idiots.

Have you ever faced a query that stumped all your classmates including the most brilliant student in your group? Even Google Baba fails to come up with a solution. If you have ever faced such a situation, then Piazza is the answer for you.

Piazza is essentially a ‘question-and-answer platform’ for students and teachers. Students can post their questions and their peers or teachers can answer.

Pooja Nath

Piazza has been developed by a Computer Science student of the Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur (IIT-K), Pooja Nath who was annoyed as she struggled with the nuances of assignments and did not feel comfortable asking her male peers for help. She also felt that online tools, like Google and Wikipedia, were not specific enough to answer the questions that her assignments posed.

Keeping this in mind, Pooja developed a website called Piazza of which she is now the CEO. The website provides students who want to work alone an opportunity to ask questions. Piazza also allows teachers to understand the problems that students face and tailor the curriculum to their needs.

Pooja says, the platform is in the beta form and the Piazza team is making efforts to make it a helpful one.  

Students can sign up on the website and create a virtual classroom. It allows only users with an official e-mail id of schools or institutions.  The administrator of Piazza verifies the credentials of any new instructor or professor joining the virtual classroom. Students new to the website can understand the functioning of a virtual classroom through an online video on its home page.

The website is popular among tech-savvy students especially in the United States of America, the United Kingdom and other European countries. Many Indian students from different engineering colleges are also using the virtual classrooms for enhancing their knowledge of their subjects.

|

Dear friends

The year 2011 has been a busy year for me. I did many things unplanned. I was not regular in updating the blog—Newsy Take. I don’t want to go this year dry so I am updating a story written by me on the change youngsters seek in our society. This year I started writing a column Net Connect on happening in the virtual world.  I will update a few of them. I am assertive that you will find the articles interesting and informative.

This following article has been published in Yuva Sambad.

This New Year—when everyone is busy making New Year resolutions and planning to live their life anew—we tried to find out what youngsters think on issues concerning them and what changes they want in the education system, in their city and in the attitudes of people around them. Are we listening to what they want?

We tried—in this news report—to find out what irks them and what solutions they can offer to correct the system.

We also spoke to a few children in primary classes to know what they want in their dream school. Ideas flooded in from children all over Bhubaneswar. Some wanted to replace bells with music, a few demanded colourful classrooms, some asked for pin-up idea boards in each and every classroom, some came up with the idea to provide digital recorders to students so that if they go to the toilet, when they come back they can catch up on what they have missed and so on. 

A report by Abhishek Pandey on their dreams, aspirations and their new ways of living their academic, social and personal lives.

Every child aims high in life. Following the well-trod paths, many want to be doctors; some students want to go for engineering or for the civil services. Many a time their parents force them to choose careers they think are good and sometimes students do not want to risk choosing a non-traditional career option.

But nowadays the situation is changing and there is no dearth of students who dare to think out of the box and do things differently. They are setting trends for others to follow. Vikas Mohapatra is one of them.

Vikas, an MBA student, says, “I love travelling and clicking photographs. Unlike other parents, my father never forced me to become an engineer, a doctor or an IAS (Indian Administrative Service) officer. I wanted to become a photographer and my father always encouraged me. He is liberal and believes that everyone has his or her own forte.” Vikas says, “This year, I want other parents to take a cue from my father and allow their children to follow their heart because I believe if your heart is not in your profession you cannot excel.”

Sonali Priyadarshini, an undergraduate, wants something else. Sonali said that she is fed up with eve-teasers. “Girls face eve-teasing and molestation. I want Odisha Police to deploy adequate personnel near colleges and coaching institutions to put a stop to such instances,” she adds.

“Girls should also take some preventive steps such as carrying a pepper spray and pop-up knives for self-defence. They should join self-defence training classes too,” she suggests. “I regularly go to karate classes and no boy can dare tease me, she says.

Jitendra Moharana, a student of Masters in Social Work (MSW), is aiming to do his bit for society this year. “Chewing tobacco and smoking cigarettes are injurious to health. Though there are laws against smoking at public places many people flout the rules with apparent impunity.  I have seen students smoking inside college premises and near schools or colleges. Professors and disciplinary bodies in school should take cognisance of these important issues and must take action. Shopkeepers cannot sell cigarettes and tobacco near schools or colleges as it is against the law,” Moharana says. This year, he wants to run a special awareness campaign in all colleges and schools across Bhubaneswar.

Youngsters live their life with a true sense of belonging with their friends in schools and the neighbourhood and even in the virtual world. However, many of them believe that elders have lost the sense of belonging. Raman Agarwal, a 17-year-old student, says, “People fight with each other in society on trivial matters. I suggest that elders should learn a few lessons in social behaviour from children who forget their fights with their neighbours or school friends the next day.”

He said that people today do not have time for their friends and family and sometimes even do not talk to their family for days because of the hectic lifestyle they follow. At home, they spend time seeing television or browsing Internet. Parents should spend quality time with their children.

These youngsters seek a change in the behavioural pattern of people in the virtual world too. “I am fed up with seeing boneheaded sentences as updates and tweets in the virtual world. Internet has grown up and we should too. People update useless status—sometimes about their personal affairs and many a time they intrude into others’ lives. It is high time everyone should learn online etiquette. People should not update anything that they do not want their parents or boss to read. One should also avoid texting while in office or in a group,” suggests Radhika Chaterjee, a management trainee.

There are other students who want to bring about a change in the educational system and make it interactive. “Every student should be given an opportunity to express their ideas. I suggest every school should have a mechanism by which students can convey their ideas to the school management and teachers; be it pin-up idea boards in every classroom or through student parliament or any kind of open forum. Their ideas should be taken into consideration,” suggests Jyotirupa Mohanty, a student of class XII.

Niranjan Sahoo, a student of class IV, wants drastic changes in the way schools function. He wants that there should be no compulsory subjects and there should be more periods for sports and co-curricular activities. He wants colourful classrooms and looks for bells to be replaced with music. Students can be given digital recorders so that they do not miss important lessons while they are not in the class room. He said that these are the possible and easiest ways of making learning interesting and fun.

Other children of his age group in government schools want that the government should build infrastructure in their schools to provide facilities as good as those available in private schools. A student from a government school on condition of anonymity said, “We do not have football or basket ball grounds in our school. There are many students who can perform better than their counterparts in private schools provided that they are given proper training and facilities.” He urged that this New Year the government must come up with some schemes for providing similar facilities to government school students.

Wishing You All a Happy New Year in Advance

|