Newsy Take

Statutory warning: Readers who are in love and have not seen the flip side of their relationships are advised not to read this article. 

Abhishek Pandey
 
Love is about sacrifice. Is it? I have seen in the Bollywood movies of the late 60s and 70s actors profess that love is all about giving and not gaining. Their dialogues are only appropriate for reel life and not practical in real life. 

I don’t believe that love is about sacrifice. I have not seen it around me—not in a crowded industrial city like Kanpur, nor in Delhi and nor in Bhubaneswar. I have not seen a single person who is in a relationship and does not expect anything from his/her partner.
I have seen them fighting over trivial issues such as the girl going out with boys make the boy jealous; the boy not giving time annoys the girl; the boy accede to the girls’ suggestions to speak to her parents in a particular manner irks the girl; and the girl wearing skimpy dresses and uploading pictures of herself in them on social networking sites makes the boy furious. There is a long list of complaints that both—the girls and the boys—have and find them enough to break the relationship. They love to play the blame game when they get bored with love.

Am I sounding like a frustrated jilted lover. May be. But I am sure there are many out there who will share my views. Boys who appreciated Pyaar Ka Punchnama and girls who broke up with Mr Wrong recently will agree with my point. I am not forcing my views on you guys but just trying to see things through my own spectacles.

Before writing this article, I asked a few persons who have been in a healthy relationship for couple of years. They accepted the charm of the relationship fades with the passage of time and does not remain always the same. Love for them vanishes in the process of exploring each other over a year or two.

Some are in a relationship because they have committed themselves and given their word and the whole world knows about it. There are people who want to break up with their partners but cannot do so because it will tarnish their image.

Others remain stuck for their vested interests. Some want emotional or financial security and some want the fulfillment of basic instincts. Live it as it comes to you or leave it. It is all a farce. Do one thing this Valentine’s Day. Observe people around you and try to find out why they remain hitched. You will find answers of your unanswered questions.

Many sayings about love have negative connotations such as Love is blind; people fall (not rise) in love; everything is fair in love and war. Here is a list of things you lose while trying to be in love and prove that you love someone special.

You lose your precious time (and many persons money too) trying to prove that your love worth attention. Your love is important till the time the person trusts it is important.

The relationship is a kind of a competition. In trying to win it, you lose a lot of things such as you stop giving time to yourself; you get hurt and do not get in return what you expect.

People act blind under the spell of love. They don’ want to see the reality. They realize it when their illusion gets over and find they are left with nothing. And there is only one panacea. It is that you should learn to live without expecting anything from life or for that matter from someone.

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A stand-up comedian mocked the metamorphosis in the relationship between lovers. He joked: “In the olden times the song was hume tumse pyaar kitna ki hum nahi jaante, magar jee nahi sakte tumhare bina. This has changed in the present time to Hume tumse pyaar kitna, I don’t know. Whether it is more than Sheela or less than Julie.”

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