By Abhishek Pandey

Recently Manmohan Singh went to God alone, without the permission of Sonia Gandhi. PMO denies it, but it has been reliably reported that the PM went up the top of the mountains to speak with God.

“God, God, why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what, Manmohan?”

“The Coalgate, 2G scam, corruption charges, uncontrollable inflation, CBI investigations, now Lokpal. Why me, God?”

“Don’t blame me, Manmohan. I gave you my blessings to become the Prime Minister not once but twice in spite of knowing that you had not won Loksabha election. You have taken all this for granted.”

“God, I have done everything you told me to do. I introduced new legislations for the poor. I even introduced a new law to curb corruption; not because Anna Hazare asked for it but because I had promised you in the past.”

“Don’t lie. That was because of Kejriwal’s win in Delhi and Anna’s indefinite fast for the legislation in Ralegaon Sidhi. Anyway, I had warned you that you had sinful people working for you.”

“When, God?”

“Just after your meeting with Sonia to decide on the names of the cabinet ministers. When I saw you selected people to head up the ministries. I was shocked. We’ve got a long file on them up here.”

“Why dint you tell me, God.”

“I tried to, but PMO officials and Pankaj Pachauri would not let me talk to you on the phone. They said they would give you the message I called.”

“They never told me, God.”

“It figures. Then I sent you an e-mail saying it was urgent you contact me. I even commented on you Facebook post in which you congratulated Sonia for showing confidence in you and choosing you the PM.”

“The only e-mails I read during that period were those in which people supported my liberalization policies of 1991 and said that I had ability to make India a super power.”

“Finally, Manmohan, I made one last effort. I showed up at a press meeting one day at 10 Janpath, and after the meeting I came up to you and said there are men among you who would be reason of your fall. Do you know what you did, Manmohan? You did not react and introduced me to Digvijay Singh.”

“I dint know it was you, God. So many people show up at these meetings. You could be a BJP man. Is that why you are punishing me—because I snubbed you?”

“I am not punishing you, Manmohan. But even I could do just so much. I agree, you are an honest man, Manmohan. If it were merely a case of Coalgate, I could probably fix it. But your government is involved in corruption, shielding tainted leaders and corporate houses, gagging media, harassing honest officers, etc. Your ministers even tried to control social media and cane charged protesters at India Gate. The list of sins is endless."

“Good, God. Nobody is perfect! Is NaMo perfect?”

“Don’t change the topic.”

“Alright. Look, I have just got a few months in which to go down as the greatest Prime Ministers of India. I don’t want to go down in the pages of the history as the worst PM of India. Give me a break.”

“You have got to clean the house, Manmohan. Get rid of everyone who had any connection with any scandal. 

Don’t spare anyone. You must make it perfectly clear you were hoodwinked by everyone on your staff. You must show the indian people that when it comes to the reputation of an honest PM, no one is too big to be sacrificed on the altar of expediency.”

“God, you are asking for a really big sacrifice. Can Congress survive it?”

“I am trying to help you, not Congress.”

“God, one minute, let me check with Madam over WhatsApp to get an idea what are her views.”

“Okay.”

After five minutes.

“God, I’ll do it. Will you take AK Antony, Jairam Ramesh and Jaipal Reddy?”

“What kind of sacrifice is that?”

“Sharad Pawar!”

“Go ahead.”

“Salman Khursheed and P. Chidambaram.”

“That’s more like it.”

“And, God if I sacrifice them, will you keep me out of this and help Rahul Jee become the next PM.”

“Manmohan, I don’t work miracles.”

Note: This is an ‘original parody’ of an article written by Art Buchwald on Richard Nixon in 1971.

# This article also appeared on Fakingnews.com. (http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/01/18/manmohan-talks-to-god/)

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By Abhishek Pandey

It’s not been even a week for Arvind Kejriwal at the helm of the affairs in Delhi and people have begun criticizing him and his policies. One person has even filed a PIL against him in Delhi High Court for making false promises in his manifesto. The person mentioned in his PIL that AK promised to pass Lok Pal Bill on December 29. It was quite funny because the person perhaps forgot that AK sworn in as the CM on December 28 only as he did not have enough numbers to form the government without any support either from the Congress of the BJP. 

I am not a AAP supporter but I firmly believe that we must refrain from cynicism that prevents a wind of good change. 

I support the AK for standing against the VIP culture by denying a lavish bungalow and security cover, for providing subsidy on water and electricity on the first two days of working at the office, for promising corruption-free governance and other pro-people policies. However, it is in the news that he has opted for a combined duplex house with total floor area of 9,000 square feet for his office and home. That’s not exactly an AAM Aadmi’s house. I am refraining to comment on the issue unless the reports are confirmed.  

Media and others have criticized him that AK took the support from the Congress while he had categorically denied taking any support either from the Congress or the BJP during campaigning. I support AK for not being stubborn on his decision and asking people for their opinion whether AAP should form the government or not. A senior journalist known for his ‘stupendous’ journalistic skills Arnab Goswami asked him that he is out-sourcing the party’s decision. AK smartly replied to the journalist that he is not outsourcing the party’s decision from Pakistan. He is simply going to the people who elected him.

One must watch the speech of AK in Delhi assembly where he did not ask for the support for his government or the party. He has talk about fresh policies. He talked about corruption free society. He talks about a system where everyone gets their works done in a government office without paying any bribe.  He has promised a lot and now it is time to show what can he do for the poor and Aam Aadmi. 

Let us keep sharpening our words of criticism for a little later stage when AK fails on his promises or falls from the standards he set for an ideal politician or say Aam Aadmi. Until then I think we should stop cynical criticism or criticism just for the sake of it.

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